In the closet…

In the closet…

So after taking a year off after my divorce to focus on my career and taking care of my young daughter, I decided it was time to get back into the dating world.  But, how do I get back into that world?

I worked in a predominately male industry, so not much chance there.  Should I try going to bars, clubs or even church?  I was never really comfortable approaching women at bars or clubs.  I thought maybe I’d give church a try.  Just like the barber explains to Prince Akeem in the movie Coming to America, “There are good girls in the church.”  However, I just couldn’t pull myself to go to church for the sole purpose of meeting someone to date.

Internet dating had become so popular.  Several of my friends had tried it and suggested it to me.  What the hell, right?  My thought was it can’t be any worse than trying to pick up a woman at a bar.  I chose a site and started building my profile.  My profile was up and before I knew it, I was chatting with a woman who was a nurse.  She was recently divorced and had two young children.  During our chats, it sounded as if we shared some common viewpoints on life, kids, work, etc.  After a couple of days of emailing each other, we decided to meet for lunch.

Even though this person didn’t know me, she agreed to have me pick her up at her apartment.  I was a little hesitant due to the fact that she lived in a part of the city that had a bad reputation.  I pulled up to her small apartment complex, wondering what I was doing.  Was this a good idea?  Meeting a complete stranger that I had only known through emails.  I walked upstairs to her apartment and knocked on the door.  I was relieved when the person on the other side of the door looked like the woman in the pictures and not some dirty old man.

To my amazement our conversations during lunch went just as well as they did through the emails.  Our lunch tasted great and the conversation was enjoyable.  The two of us seemed to be hitting off quite well.  During our conversation, she asked me if I had ever watched Grey’s Anatomy.  When I told her that I had never seen it, she insisted that I needed to watch it.  She told me that she had several episodes recorded and suggested that we go back to her apartment to watch them.  Her kids were not due back for another two hours so there was plenty of time to get introduced to Grey’s Anatomy while getting to know my new friend better.

When we get to her apartment, she makes me a drink and then turns on Grey’s Anatomy.  While getting comfortable on her couch, she begins describing the characters on the show to me.  Something about a dreamy doctor and the nurse he is dating.  Within 15 minutes of watching the world of love triangles within a hospital, there is a knock at the door.  My date looks through the peephole and begins to panic because her ex-husband is there with their two young children much earlier than he had told her.  She starts freaking out so I ask her what the problem is since they are divorced.  My date begins to quickly explain to me that her ex-husband is still jealous and that the last guy she dated, he threatened to kill.  She tells me that I need to hide in her bedroom closet.

As I sit in the tiny closet, my mind starts to wonder on if this is how I will leave this earth: stabbed to death in a tiny apartment.  Will my death be documented in a tiny article in the Metro section of the newspaper?  Man found murdered after watching Grey’s Anatomy with the ex-wife of a crazy man.  Good times!

After what seemed like an eternity, the closet door opens and my date tells me that her crazy ex has left the building.  Now, she is concerned with me meeting her two young kids.  I tell her that I need to go home.  She says that she will go and distract her kids so that I can leave.  I have now moved from the closet to sitting on her bed.  She goes into the living room to distract her children.  Before I know it, the bedroom door opens and in walks her five-year old son.  He looks up at me and asks “Who are you?”  I tell him that I am a friend of his mom and I am trying to leave.  He asks me why I want to leave and if I can stay and play.

His mom explains to him and his sister that her mom had a friend over to watch TV.  I tell the kids and my date that it was nice meeting them and head for the front door.  I run to my car and never look back.  This was a one and done date for me.  I have no intention of reliving this nightmare again and will not be pursuing any relationship with this nurse.  First post-divorce date is an experience that I will never forget…being put in a closet.

4 Responses to “In the closet…”

  1. Pato Marhetic says:

    Wow! – now that is an awesome jumping off point for a newly divorced man in the internet dating world! Were there any follow up “pokes” from her to see if you could rekindle?

    • admin says:

      Yes, she did reach out to me seeking for a second chance and to apologize for putting me in a closet. But, I explained to her that I wasn’t interested because I didn’t want to be looking over my shoulder for her ex everytime we went out on a date. Since this was my first post-divorce dating experience, I decided that there were more fish in the sea.

  2. ScottyHu says:

    I smell a sitcommm!

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