Crossworld Puzzles, Cats and Murder She Wrote…

Crossworld Puzzles, Cats and Murder She Wrote…

My mother mentioned to me that her church had started a Singles Group and suggested that I give it a try. Worst case scenario, I meet some new friends. Who knows, maybe I meet a “Good Girl” at the church.

That next Sunday, I was sitting in a church pew listening to the pastor tell the congregation about trying new things to improve your life. He mentioned that you must have faith that those improvements will benefit you in life. As they say, “He was preaching to the choir.”

After the service, I introduced myself to the pastor and asked him about this new Singles Group. He mentioned that they had noticed a growing number of single adults attending their church. He hoped this group would be a way for single adults to form new relationships while sharing their interests inside and outside of church. I told him that I would attend the next meeting and was looking forward to it.

The group met the following Wednesday and I was anxious to meet the people in the group. Would I meet that “Preacher’s Daughter?” You know the girl who seems innocent at church, but leads a promiscuous life. Or would I meet that woman who was a young professional that attended church for the positive messages, but wasn’t a “Bible Beater.” Either way, it couldn’t be any worse than browsing online profiles of potential dating partners.

It was Wednesday and a sense of confidence had overcome me. I had a glide in my stride and a pep in my step as I approached the group’s meeting room. As I opened the door and looked around the room, I notice several older women and one older gentleman. I was in my mid-30’s and they appeared to be at least twenty years older. Maybe there is a younger Singles Group meeting in another room?

The pastor walks in right behind me and has everyone take their seats. I ask him if there is another Singles Group and he tells me that this is it. The only chair available is between two older women. I take my seat and immediately I am hit with the aroma of moth balls, lovely!

The pastor wants to go around the room so that everyone in the group can introduce themselves. I soon find out everyone except me has the same interests: crossword puzzles, playing with their cats and watching, “Murder She Wrote.” Could this get any worse? After the introductions, the door opens and a church member rolls in a cart with fruit punch and cookies. Really?

The pastor encourages everyone to mingle as they eat their punch and cookies. The two women next to me strike up a conversation and ask what brought me to the group. I explained to them that since my divorce I had been trying new ways to meet people. Just as I am finishing my sentence one of the ladies puts her hand on my leg and tells me that if I join their group that I won’t be lonely anymore. I politely smile, almost wanting to chuckle at the thought of becoming a senior citizen love toy.

Is this what will happen to me if I grow old and lonely? A dirty old man hitting on young women at a church group? Good lord, is this Metamucil or fruit punch? My mom is never going to hear the end of this from me.







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